Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
