Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
