Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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