I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
