Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
