pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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