your thong is hanging out like whoa
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
