do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
