sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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