So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
