hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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