hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
