Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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