just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
