how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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