that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
