If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
