I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
