This is not my ceiling
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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