yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Randomize
