You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
