i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
