Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I want is dick and wine.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
