What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
