so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I need moral support for this bender
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
