Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
