just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
