trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
These tits shall not be calmed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
