Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am spending my child support on dildos
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
