I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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