Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
