So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
