this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
