Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
