guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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