also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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