I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
