before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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