they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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