Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
