Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
