I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
