the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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