I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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