Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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