got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
