Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
