Me too!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
