Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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