Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
