You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
